Posting Will Be Light

We’ve been trying to find a new care situation for Henry for the past couple of weeks since our beloved nanny went back to teaching preschool this week. We thought we were ready for Montessori, but I changed my mind last minute. We entered someone else’s nanny share and after contract negotiations the nanny gave her two weeks’ notice the day before we even started in. So I’m trying to work my job, be a mom and wife, interview potential nannys, look at other schools, and stay sane all at once. It’s so hard, and when I take my deep breaths to “center myself”, sometimes I just want to bash my computer out the window.

Transitions are hard on Henry. It took him a long time to get to sleep last night and he woke several times during the night and needed comfort. I hate that probably as soon as he gets used to this new nanny by the end of next week, she will be done. I hate that I haven’t had the same nanny for him since the day I went back to work. (We’ve been through 3.) Sometimes I even hate that I know I couldn’t be the mom I want to be if I was with him full-time… though that one is pretty pointless.

So I’m just going to have my little guilt party here and move on with it because I am doing the best I can. Everyone has a sob story. Sleep aside, Henry actually seems pretty happy in his new situation. Yesterday he waved and, with his mouth full of figs, said “Bye, Mama!” when I left. Our yoga teacher told us that when our energy and chakras are restored, our auras extend about 6 inches around our bodies, into the space we hold our children. Indigo child or not, I swear, when I am feeling good, Henry looks just over my head sometimes. I think maybe he senses my aura is a bit depleted right now and he wants to give me hugs in the middle of the night to let me know he is ok.

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About jordanbucher

My name is Jordan E. Bucher, formerly Jordan E. Pitcher, aka Wondertwin, Tadpole, Jojo. I live in Austin, TX by way of NYC for 7 years, London for a stop, Minnesota for 4 years, and Kansas for 18 very long years. I am married to Matt for nearly 4 years (smooching on and off for 7), and we have a son Henry Wallace who is almost 1. A crazy sheltie named Riley also lives with us. She herds sheep and vacuum cleaners in her sleep. I have worked in publishing for 10 years. I started as an editor and switched to being a publicist because I thought it would be cool to get paid for watching tv and reading magazines all day. I am proud to say I was a cupcake artist at Magnolia Bakery on my days off, way before the Saturday Night Live rap. I have met Carrie Bradshaw and Felicity, and once Kyle McLaughlin flirted with me. My interests include bran, sending inappropriate emails to unintended recipients, and naps (not mine, of course: Henry's). I like sushi and red meat. And red wine.
This entry was posted in insomnia/anxiety, sleep, child, yoga and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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